Sudan and Other Thoughts for Monday

My thoughts are a little all over the place today. I apologies if I seem random or am hard to follow. I'll try to be as organized as possible... but who knows.

First of all I have to tell you all about my Sunday. I woke up at 7ish, took a shower pulled on some comfortable but nice looking cloths, blow dyed my hair and even did some makeup. I ate breakfast and drank a cup of very strong earl grey tea. Then just before 8:30 I pulled on my coat, tied my scarf around my neck, put my hat on, put my helmet over my hat, swung my messenger bag around my shoulder and after make sure I had my keys, when outside. Next I unlocked my bike, which has been resting on our front porch all winter (and it is rather dirty because of that, although not as rusty as I thought it would be). Bike Unlocked I picked it half up and trudged down the steps.

The ride to church was a good one. I was perhaps a little out of breath, but it is a 25 minute ride to Church so being out of breath at the end was not all bad. In fact it took me less time then I thought it would. I locked up my bike and wondered into the church and sat down to wait a moment. 10 minutes later myself and a couple of others headed into one of the classrooms and sat down to have a prayer meeting for missions.

At this point I need to take my first random tangent. At the meeting we talked about a up coming mission trip that Liberti is doing to South Sudan this summer. Its a little crazy, since South Sudan is become independent in July and the trip would be in August. Crazier still I really want to go. Not sure what I have to offer on a trip were they want to train doctors and teachers...Theatre anyone? Also such a trip would cost a whole lot of money... over $1000 round trip just for airfare. Also who knows it I could get off for two weeks.

So any ways I'll have to leave that for now. After the prayer meeting I went into the gym for church. I found a seat, got a cup of tea, and chatted before service began. Half way through the second song my cell phone went off. luckily I had my phone on vibrate. I ignored it, seeing as it was from the director of the show I'm doing at the moment and new it could wait. During the annoucements I listened to the voicemail, nothing important. however, I kept my phone out, so I could check the time. A couple of more songs a prayer later, it was just before 11am, the sermon was just going to start, and I had to leave.

My bike ride to the theatre for rehearsal from the church did not take long. I got there before anyone else. met with a magazine writer, got inside the theatre, waited for everyone else to show up, had rehearsal (which went really well), bullshitted for a few minutes after rehearsal, got on my bike and headed home. I got home around 3ish. The rest of the day was not very eventful, I took a short nap, watched a movie, talked with one of my roomates and went to bed around 10.

Questions I'm thinking through at the moment:

Why am I so crazy?
Should I go to Sudan?
And why in the world am I feeling so random this morning?

Feel free to chime in...

Give Me My Life Back

Give me my life back
the one you hijacked
the one you took
the one you tricked
me to give over to you

Give me my life back
I want the control
I want what I want
I need the plan
so I know where to go

Give me my life back
or I'll say you don't exsist
or I'll curse and throw a fit
or I'll, I'll, I'll
just please give it back

Give me my life back
so I can mess it up
so I can take the blame
so I can run crying
in too your arms when I mess up

I'll give you my life back
because I should not be in charge
because I just mess it up
because you are God

Rehearsal

I hate blocking rehearsals. Well that is not completely true. As an actor I actually really like blocking rehearsals. Sure they can be long and its hard to act and remember where in the world you are suppose to go. But as an actor blocking is great for building a character. The Director tells you were to go and its your job to give that movement motivation.

So the only time I really hate blocking rehearsals is when I am not acting. Like if your stage managing and you have to write down everything. And once you get it written all down, it will more then likely change. The last time I SM I '-re-organized' my script five times just because of blocking changes (That means taking a script that is almost impossible to read because of the number of times I had to make changes, and re-writing all of the information into a new script, making it easier to read, that is until I have to change something again).

Then there is the Director's blocking rehearsals. A director does not come to the rehearsal with nothing, no the director usually knows what they want, even if it is really ruff. Thus the reason why I hate Blocking rehearsals, as a director I want the choices of movement to come from the actors, not me. Sure I might have some basic ideas of pictures at some moment in the play. But other then that...

This is why I hate blocking rehearsals, getting actors to make good choices all on there own is hard. Yes I am selling actors a little short. I am an actor I love it when a director can give me exactly what he is looking for and tell me when to move and how. I really love it when the director works off of my own movement (which is how I want to direct).

Tonight I have a blocking rehearsal for a play I wrote (and a couple plays I am helping with). Lucky for me I have a good idea of what I am going to be doing and what I want it too look like. (Also it is a short play). Of course after tonight we move into my favorite rehearsals, changing everything and finding characters!

Stop Wishing for Snow Already

Friday last week was wonderful. 65 degrees sunny, blue sky and the promise of spring that was on its way. However by Friday night the winds picked up and as the temperature dropped I realized that winter was not done with us yet. Saturday morning when I went for my run, it was almost as if we had not had 65 degree weather the day before, rather it seemed like winter. I went for a run, which left me feeling very wind blown and cold. I called my parents and found out that they were having white out conditions and about 6 inches of snow.

I wished for snow. I did. So this morning when I woke up to about 4 inches I had to kick myself. Of course I had to wish for snow. And what happens? I get snow. I guess if I want Spring to come at all I need to stop wishing for snow and start wishing for flowers and butterflies... The sad thing is I kind of still want snow.

Broken

ass, angering, after-wards, after-thought, 
Broke broken breaking bending battered bursting breach
crush crashing crack chip cutting cut clout cuff control
dash, dished, damned, damning, damn
effing
f----
gone, going, grimacing
hug hung hanging hoping? Healing?
ignore, ignorance, illiteracy, innocent?
jeering jarring jammed
kept, keeping
longing, leering, laughing, lingering
masked, marvolus, more, me, more, more, more
never, needing, now, needed, need, need, need
open, over, omnipotent, omniscient,
power powerless poor pouring past
quick, quiet, question
remember, real, realize, rung, ringing, run
sail, sailing, singing, sung, sighing, slow,
time timeless timing, truth, tearing taring
under unless unneeded unwanted unless
victor, victorious, vicious, very victom
wondering wandoring wander win was when where why?
x
yet
zappy, zazzy, zek, zoetic, zone, zygnomic zeroable zero

Dear SEPTA

So Yesterday was singles awareness day. Which for me is just another day, but with very annoying reminders that I don't have a boyfriend to send me two dozen red roses. I even wore black yesterday, which I found to be slightly amazing and really hilarious (To be honest I did not plan to wear black, I put on my clothing and after stepping off my front porch realized that it was the 14th and thus V-Day and I was wearing black jeans, a orange t-shirt, and a black sweater...priceless.

The best part of the day, besides the free lunch (it would have won first place if there had not been a meeting involved), was the ride home. The wonderful people at SEPTA tend to do funny things with the Subway cars on Holidays. Yesterday they had large conversation heart decorating some of the cars. The first one I saw was bright pink and stated "I wish you saw you like I see you, Beautiful" Thank you SEPTA for making the whole day feel better. Of course the second one I saw said 'Call me!" which I have no intention on doing (who calls a train car anyways?). But I was reminded that there is more to V-Day then gooey romances and over the top love. In reality it is a day meant to celebrate love. Whether it is the love we have for our family or friends or whom ever!

So with this in mind I ended last night having a date with myself (something I do very well). I made leftovers for dinner and watched a couple of really good Doctor Who episodes (I'm in season 4). All in all it was actually a very quiet, simple day. I survived!

Anyone else have a favorite Conversation heart they got yesterday?

Mondays

Wake up slowly staring angrily at the clock
wondering why the week has started
why I went to bed so late

The alarm goes off again
Again I hit snooze and again
Finally I roll out of bed grumbling
rush through my morning shower
dry my hair quickly, and slap on makeup
pull on random clothing hoping
hoping that I don't miss by train
knowing as I run out the door
that I am late

Oh Monday's why are you so difficult?

First Love

"But I have this against you, that you have left your first love." Rev. 2:4

At first there was the walk in the garden
the wonderful cool grass and laughter
laughter as we ran and sat and whispered
everything was new and fresh and wonderful
The first spring together there was wonder
wonder at each new bud, each flower
Ever color was alive and you held my hand
And I drank it all in a heavy liqueur drink
And I eat full of the wonders and lust of life
felt my head giddy with that drink
my stomach full yet there was still more

but then there was darkness, or a vale
something came down slowly, hardly felt
till suddenly I was no longer yours
you were no longer mine
the world held more sway
and really drink and food fill me now
colors are ordinary, normal, the same
And spring comes a grateful relief from Winter
but hold little of its passed wonder
where are you my love? why are you gone?
Why is the darkness of my soul
hiding your light from me?
let me come to the garden and find you
find you in the cool shade, laughing.

Kielbasa and Sauerkraut

For lunch today I am eating Kielbasa and Sauerkraut. I'm sure you all really wanted to know this, but I'm sharing because of all the left overs I eat, this might be the best. Why?

1. It retains all of its flavor. 
2. It does not get weird when you re-heat it. 
3. Every time I make it I have enough food to feed myself at least three or four times after the first meal.
4. This past time I put apple in it, which makes it even better.
5. I love mixing mashed potatoes and sauerkraut together, peas are good too (although I don't have those today).
6. It reminds me of home. I might not be German, but we love Sauerkraut... weird I know.

I'm sure that there are a ton of other reasons why I love it so much that I just can't think of at the moment. But the best part of making it or even re-heating it is that everyone knows what you made. My current roommates don't mind the smell. Others have wrinkled their noses at me and thought me generally crazy. I don't really mind.

So what are everyone's favorite foods for Lunch? Or maybe a better questions, what is your favorite leftover to eat?

Coming in March Total Ridiculousness

Coming March 5th, a totally Ridiculous show that I helped write a piece for is going to live for a short and spectacular night of fun. What exactly am I talking about? Well a piece I on wrote on Zombies is joining a bunch of other short works to form Dawson St. Dramatic Society's Winter One Act Showcase. For more information you can head over to DSDS's blog.

My family think that I have some how lost my senses, doing Zombie Plays (we already joke that my brain is traveling the world without me). But I figured that I would try to give my reasons for liking Zombies...

1. There is something gross and yet highly satisfying about splashing fake blood all over your face.
2. Zombies are a great way to make a comment on things, whether its bio-development, what life means, how to fight for life, and of course whether we are slowly becoming Zombies, do to technological advances and office buildings.
3. Being Ridiculous is Fun!
4. One of my favorite plays (Waiting for Godot) could be argued to be about Zombies (although there are only a couple of lines that make me think that.) "All the dead bodies..."
5. I love Thriller (And they are definably Un-dead!)

 Any Questions?

Vader Jr.

I figured that the Steelers would win. I mean come on, they are the Steelers. But I think it was really obvious that they got out played (And in reality I can't hate Green Bay too much). We still have more Super Bowls than them, so there!

That is not however what I really am thinking about this morning. Nope, its the commercials. Do you know of any other show or live sports event where the commercials are almost as important as the show/event? Sure we enjoy commercials that are fun when they happen, yet in a normal show those are few and in between. Other blogs are going to give you the ratings on last nights best and worse (If you want to know my favorite read my title), but I would rather like to state that I'm very much surprised that companies spent money on commercials that did not even try to be cool. I am not talking about the companies that tried and failed (cough Go Daddy Cough). I'm talking about the bad car commercial that is normally what would air during the day. I don't remember the car or the maker (that's kind of my point) So why spend all that money having a Super Bowl commercial if your going to be normal and forgettable. This is the one event in the year when the American population actually pay attention to commercials. You would think that this is the one time that a company would try to be interesting, funny, creative. Even if you fail, at least try!

Now as commentary on myself  I would like to state that normally I hate commercials. However, being that I like a good story and I like to laugh, if someone can create something that actually grabs my interest I will watch it. Of course I am not in the market for a car (although I like to drool over them) so anything surrounded that is kind of thing is lost on me. To be truthful, most of the things that are sold on commercials I don't really care about. Unless it is a movie trailer with Johnny Depp (Two this year, one as a pirate, one as a animated lizard). I don't have a car, and I don't need a car or car insurance. I don't like Bud (I don't love it enough to hate it). Doritos are OK, but I eat them seldom. And finally I don't drink soda. So of all the commercials that happened during the Super Bowl, very few of them are actually going to get me to buy anything if I actually buy anything because of them. Still having a little kid dressed as Vader wondering around the house trying to figure out the force was to use another commercial's tag line, Priceless.

A-Ben

Well this weekend the Steelers will be meeting (and beating) Green bay in Texas. Obviously I am a Steelers fan, have been since at least high school if not earlier. My roommate through college was also a big Steelers fan which is probably one reason we got a long so well. Yesterday I received from my brother the Pittsburgh Prayer (which he snail mailed to me), something I'm sure gets re-written ever year by some fan for various games. I'm not sure who wrote the original, but I thought I would share it with you all (even if it is sacrilegious).


Our Father, who art from Pittsburgh,

Football by thy game

Help Mendenhall run, 6 superbowls won, On earth as it is in Heinz Field

Give us this day a Superbowl victory, 

And forgive us our penalties,

As we defeat the Packers who plays against us.

And deliver us to Texas

For long live the Iron curtain, and the line and Troy,

Forever and ever

A-Ben



GO Steelers!!!!