I totally hate when I have to deal with any kind of time change. Going to Ireland the first time it took a total of three days once we were there for me to get myself righted. And then coming back it was about the same. That was a large change. But even a hour different can totally throw me off. Take Springing Forward, which we did Sunday.
Sunday I did not really realize the difference, I had people visiting and did not have to worry about church that morning (we meet in the afternoon with our sister/brother churches). I did not really realize the difference. Today I totally did. Not only am I dealing with a delayed allergic reaction to all the flowers I saw Saturday at the flower show, I am also completely off by a whole hour. Luckily I was only a half an hour late to work (and no one at work really cares that I was late). Yet I just realized at 1pm that I had missed my normal lunch time, by a whole hour.
I am the kind of person who can set a internal clock and operate by that clock. I normally wake up before my alarm clock, I feel when it is time to eat, sleep, leave work. However, if I wanted to change that clock. If I want to wake up earlier, or if I have to Spring Forward, my inside gets all discombobulated. And then I'm in trouble.
Anyone else having a hard Monday Morning?
Monday, March 14, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Plug Me In
Plug me in,
blare music
in my ears
wires and
cords and
microphones
in my ears
out my nose
Plug me in
snake 'round
with wires
and plugs
and
electronic
sounds
Plug me in
light my
night time
don't let
me sleep
my eyes
monitor
my ears
record
my mouth
replys only
Plug me in
let me only
repeat
that which
you want
that which
I hear
Plug me in
let me only
see, understand
that which
you want
that which
you show
Plug me in
decide my reality
blare music
in my ears
wires and
cords and
microphones
in my ears
out my nose
Plug me in
snake 'round
with wires
and plugs
and
electronic
sounds
Plug me in
light my
night time
don't let
me sleep
my eyes
monitor
my ears
record
my mouth
replys only
Plug me in
let me only
repeat
that which
you want
that which
I hear
Plug me in
let me only
see, understand
that which
you want
that which
you show
Plug me in
decide my reality
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
What To Give Up
Today is Ash Wednesday, which seems to surprise me ever year. I knew that this week was the week that lent started. I knew that Wednesday would be Ash Wednesday... but I still was suprised this morning when I saw a man walk onto the Subway with a large cross on his forehead. My thought process, when I saw him, went something like this: 'What the...Oh ya...shit I should have thought about it last night and found a church near me to get ash put on my forehead...damn it what the hell am I going to give up for lent.'
Of course I realize I have been swearing a lot in my head lately, or out loud a little bit, so that is the first thing I need to work on. Of course this is something that I want to always be working on, so it can't be the only thing I give up. Last year I had given up Netflix, but in reality that was more because I really did not have the money. I also started working out a lot (mostly because of my roommates). This year I wanted to do something different. I wanted to give up facebook, but seeing as that is at least half of my job every day I figured that it was not really a good idea or a practical one.
Every year my father gives up beer and sweets. Mostly he does this because he needs to loose weight. I think he also might do it to annoy my mother seeing as his birthday is always during lent, and its hard to plan a surprise birthday party when the person its for won't eat the cake. I have never been very good at giving up food.
So I wonder is it so important to give something up? Maybe I should start doing something. Or at least been more particular and aware of what I am doing. So this year for lent I am going to start reading my bible every night. Writing every day but Sunday (in my journal or other places like this blog) and being better at calling my friends and family (which might be the hardest thing for me to do).
What is everyone else doing?
Of course I realize I have been swearing a lot in my head lately, or out loud a little bit, so that is the first thing I need to work on. Of course this is something that I want to always be working on, so it can't be the only thing I give up. Last year I had given up Netflix, but in reality that was more because I really did not have the money. I also started working out a lot (mostly because of my roommates). This year I wanted to do something different. I wanted to give up facebook, but seeing as that is at least half of my job every day I figured that it was not really a good idea or a practical one.
Every year my father gives up beer and sweets. Mostly he does this because he needs to loose weight. I think he also might do it to annoy my mother seeing as his birthday is always during lent, and its hard to plan a surprise birthday party when the person its for won't eat the cake. I have never been very good at giving up food.
So I wonder is it so important to give something up? Maybe I should start doing something. Or at least been more particular and aware of what I am doing. So this year for lent I am going to start reading my bible every night. Writing every day but Sunday (in my journal or other places like this blog) and being better at calling my friends and family (which might be the hardest thing for me to do).
What is everyone else doing?
Monday, March 7, 2011
Embers
There was a once a great tree, a great tree
Which stood tall as tall can be, can be
And shaded the ground, the ground
with branches wide and broad, and broad
Birds and beast made homes there, there
The Trees roots were deep and strong, strong
It stood against the wildest storm, wildest storm
Then one branch decided to leave, leave
And down it crashed leaving the rest, the rest
thinking it would become its own tree, tree
The other watched it as it fell, it fell
And together individually began to think, to think
Of standing alone, of being a tree, a tree
But the roots looked up and reminded the whole, whole
You need us to survive, us to grow, to grow
So the other branches waited and decided to watch
But the one branch grew its own roots, roots, roots
Shallow yes, but separate, apart, apart, apart
And it convinced a few to join it, join it, join it
So down two more fell, fell, fell
And the grand tree finally felt bare, bare, bare
Again the roots keep the others together, together
When a storm comes they will all shatter, shatter, shatter
So together through a warm spring, spring, spring
The grand tree, and the branches grew, grew, grew, grew
The gentle rains were easy and kind, kind, kind
And a few birds built nests in fallen branches, branches
And the branches, fallen felt fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine
Then summers heat came, and the rain was gone
And one of the fallen, died of thirst
The branches on grand old tree cried, cried, cried
for there fallen brothers to return, return, return
But the roots remind them they could not
Then a storm came, violent and strong, strong, strong
And two of the fallen fell unable to stand, stand, stand
The branches on the tree told them to stand, get up!
But with out roots, they could not and died
Now the fall came and the bitter cold, cold, cold
And finally the last of the fallen died, a slow death
And the grand tree mourned the fallen,
And the grand tree grew other branches
And the grand tree still stands unbroken
Unbending, unbeatable, rooted deep, strong
But fallen who can say what became of them?
Which stood tall as tall can be, can be
And shaded the ground, the ground
with branches wide and broad, and broad
Birds and beast made homes there, there
The Trees roots were deep and strong, strong
It stood against the wildest storm, wildest storm
Then one branch decided to leave, leave
And down it crashed leaving the rest, the rest
thinking it would become its own tree, tree
The other watched it as it fell, it fell
And together individually began to think, to think
Of standing alone, of being a tree, a tree
But the roots looked up and reminded the whole, whole
You need us to survive, us to grow, to grow
So the other branches waited and decided to watch
But the one branch grew its own roots, roots, roots
Shallow yes, but separate, apart, apart, apart
And it convinced a few to join it, join it, join it
So down two more fell, fell, fell
And the grand tree finally felt bare, bare, bare
Again the roots keep the others together, together
When a storm comes they will all shatter, shatter, shatter
So together through a warm spring, spring, spring
The grand tree, and the branches grew, grew, grew, grew
The gentle rains were easy and kind, kind, kind
And a few birds built nests in fallen branches, branches
And the branches, fallen felt fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine
Then summers heat came, and the rain was gone
And one of the fallen, died of thirst
The branches on grand old tree cried, cried, cried
for there fallen brothers to return, return, return
But the roots remind them they could not
Then a storm came, violent and strong, strong, strong
And two of the fallen fell unable to stand, stand, stand
The branches on the tree told them to stand, get up!
But with out roots, they could not and died
Now the fall came and the bitter cold, cold, cold
And finally the last of the fallen died, a slow death
And the grand tree mourned the fallen,
And the grand tree grew other branches
And the grand tree still stands unbroken
Unbending, unbeatable, rooted deep, strong
But fallen who can say what became of them?
Friday, March 4, 2011
Cold Bike Rides, History, and the Coming Spring
Besides the long very cold bike ride over to the park, it was fun to just hang out after work. It was quiet, other then the traffic, and there was almost no one around.
I always love checking out Philly. Although I wish it was warmer... I think I'll have to go back and check on the flowers in a week or so. I bet they are out or darn close to being.
Well there you have it... Anyone have a favorite place to look at spring flowers in the city? Or which is your favorite, Crocus, Daffodils, or Tulips?
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Crazy Technology
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” (Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss).
Yesterday I wrote about learning to not live in my dreams but rather in real life. My sister, via Facebook, told me to not stop dreaming totally, because that would make me boring. My sister has a great way of reminding me of important stuff as well as giving me a hard time (what else are sisters for). But I realized that maybe the point that I was trying to make, was not really the one I wanted to make. Dreams are great. I'm talking about the dreams we have about what we will do when we grow up, who we'll be sometime in the future, and what we want in life. Never giving up on your dreams can be a great thing.
There is however a danger in Dreams or wishes. First we might spend so much time dreaming that 'real' life means nothing, and we do nothing to get our dreams. This is what I was talking about yesterday. I have found myself living in my head more then in real life. This does not mean I need to stop dreaming necessarily, but that I need to start doing more. You can dream all you want, but if you are not doing something about it, what is the point of the dream?
Second there is the fact that what we dream and what we actually get are never exactly the same. Sometimes this is a good thing. Honestly if I had become the Prima Ballerina I wanted to become when I was a little girl, my life now would be totally different (and not all in good ways). Take for instences that even when I was a 13 or 14 year old I understood that I would have to change a lot (physically) to make it as a ballerina. I love food too much for all that (although that is not the full reason for me stopping ballet). What I started to understand then I totally understand now. Of course Theatre can be just as harsh on body type and 'looks' but in a very differnt way from Ballet. In Ballet critics will call someone way to skinny fat, because they are not really right body wise. In Theatre, we tend to not say things like that. Rather Directors cast the body type they want. So there you go, my dream was to be a Ballerina, now I want to be a director, actor, writer.
What am I actually doing? Currently I am the Social Media Coordinator for a software company. Talk about doing something that is completely separate from what I wanted to do with my life 'when I grow up'. But then again my job is in part what allows me to pursue theatre, and gives me the skills to promote myself. Want to talk about blogging, Facebooking, Twittering, Linkedin, and faceplated? Ya I get all of that and more. In fact the crazy amount of technology and social ability that some how I managed to learn/find within myself is staggering. Definably if you take in the fact that I was the uncool kid in fifth grade who didn't really start reading till that summer, and was socially awkward. Strange how what we dream can sometimes not be a 'big' enough dream. And as Dr. Seuss says "There is no one alive who is Youer than You" And you might be just perfect for something totally unrelated to what you dreamed you would be doing.
Yesterday I wrote about learning to not live in my dreams but rather in real life. My sister, via Facebook, told me to not stop dreaming totally, because that would make me boring. My sister has a great way of reminding me of important stuff as well as giving me a hard time (what else are sisters for). But I realized that maybe the point that I was trying to make, was not really the one I wanted to make. Dreams are great. I'm talking about the dreams we have about what we will do when we grow up, who we'll be sometime in the future, and what we want in life. Never giving up on your dreams can be a great thing.
There is however a danger in Dreams or wishes. First we might spend so much time dreaming that 'real' life means nothing, and we do nothing to get our dreams. This is what I was talking about yesterday. I have found myself living in my head more then in real life. This does not mean I need to stop dreaming necessarily, but that I need to start doing more. You can dream all you want, but if you are not doing something about it, what is the point of the dream?
Second there is the fact that what we dream and what we actually get are never exactly the same. Sometimes this is a good thing. Honestly if I had become the Prima Ballerina I wanted to become when I was a little girl, my life now would be totally different (and not all in good ways). Take for instences that even when I was a 13 or 14 year old I understood that I would have to change a lot (physically) to make it as a ballerina. I love food too much for all that (although that is not the full reason for me stopping ballet). What I started to understand then I totally understand now. Of course Theatre can be just as harsh on body type and 'looks' but in a very differnt way from Ballet. In Ballet critics will call someone way to skinny fat, because they are not really right body wise. In Theatre, we tend to not say things like that. Rather Directors cast the body type they want. So there you go, my dream was to be a Ballerina, now I want to be a director, actor, writer.
What am I actually doing? Currently I am the Social Media Coordinator for a software company. Talk about doing something that is completely separate from what I wanted to do with my life 'when I grow up'. But then again my job is in part what allows me to pursue theatre, and gives me the skills to promote myself. Want to talk about blogging, Facebooking, Twittering, Linkedin, and faceplated? Ya I get all of that and more. In fact the crazy amount of technology and social ability that some how I managed to learn/find within myself is staggering. Definably if you take in the fact that I was the uncool kid in fifth grade who didn't really start reading till that summer, and was socially awkward. Strange how what we dream can sometimes not be a 'big' enough dream. And as Dr. Seuss says "There is no one alive who is Youer than You" And you might be just perfect for something totally unrelated to what you dreamed you would be doing.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
A Different Kind of Life
I watched Toy Story 3 yesterday. I mention this not because I wish to talk endlessly about my childhood, or give you the low down on a movie. I mention it because of the beginning. Movie starts with the audience actually see inside the imagination of Andy. And I must say I felt right at home. Sure, I'm not a kid any more. But that is just the problem, I never grew out of my imagination. Some times this is great, I can get inside a character and live (for a moment) that characters life. Or if I am writing something my imagination does (in its weird way) give me a story and characters and world for that story.
Most of the time however it is not the best thing. Why? Because instead of living my life, I am constantly thinking about a different world, different people, different rules, different me. Basically a different kind of life. I am living inside my imagination just as often as I am living in the world in which I was born, grew up, went to college, and work in. My actually deeds in 'real' life are nothing compared to the breathe and depth of my imaginary ones. No one dreams of normal average ordinary lives. No we want to be the princess, the knight, the hero, the villain, and not have to worry about the normal average things like food, money, work, or our lives.
When I was a kid I dreamed up some of the most elaborate crazy places and stories. I would want to be all the characters, making my sister stand in for the ones I did not want to play at that moment. (mostly the poor prince who my character could beat the crap out of). The tomboy in me has always been kickass. (perhaps that is the reason for all of my strong women characters in the stories I write). Funny because I'm not a feminist (I'll discuss this more some other day). In fact the 'real' me is neither kick ass or cool. I was painfully shy growing up and in a way I still am shy, at least until I get to know someone. Just this morning I was dreaming about different situations at work and how they may play out, each more elaborate then the last. Yesterday I was day dreaming about walking across the African wilderness running from some army, led by a lion I had named Aslan.
See my problem is that I can dream, right side of my brain completely in control, while awake. I even talk out loud to myself (embarrassing). My parents would yell at me when I was a kid (singing/talking in the shower to myself) or simply gave me a hard time about it. I talk out loud less often, but I don't think I'll 'grow' out of it. And that is just the problem. I need to start living my life on earth in the 'real' world. I need to stop escaping to the more exciting unreal stories I can create so easily. I don't need a different kind of life, I need to live the one I have been given. After all doing something ordinary can be rather amazing and dreaming about walking across Africa is not nearly as cool or impressive as actually going to Africa (even if I don't meet a lion named Aslan).
Most of the time however it is not the best thing. Why? Because instead of living my life, I am constantly thinking about a different world, different people, different rules, different me. Basically a different kind of life. I am living inside my imagination just as often as I am living in the world in which I was born, grew up, went to college, and work in. My actually deeds in 'real' life are nothing compared to the breathe and depth of my imaginary ones. No one dreams of normal average ordinary lives. No we want to be the princess, the knight, the hero, the villain, and not have to worry about the normal average things like food, money, work, or our lives.
When I was a kid I dreamed up some of the most elaborate crazy places and stories. I would want to be all the characters, making my sister stand in for the ones I did not want to play at that moment. (mostly the poor prince who my character could beat the crap out of). The tomboy in me has always been kickass. (perhaps that is the reason for all of my strong women characters in the stories I write). Funny because I'm not a feminist (I'll discuss this more some other day). In fact the 'real' me is neither kick ass or cool. I was painfully shy growing up and in a way I still am shy, at least until I get to know someone. Just this morning I was dreaming about different situations at work and how they may play out, each more elaborate then the last. Yesterday I was day dreaming about walking across the African wilderness running from some army, led by a lion I had named Aslan.
See my problem is that I can dream, right side of my brain completely in control, while awake. I even talk out loud to myself (embarrassing). My parents would yell at me when I was a kid (singing/talking in the shower to myself) or simply gave me a hard time about it. I talk out loud less often, but I don't think I'll 'grow' out of it. And that is just the problem. I need to start living my life on earth in the 'real' world. I need to stop escaping to the more exciting unreal stories I can create so easily. I don't need a different kind of life, I need to live the one I have been given. After all doing something ordinary can be rather amazing and dreaming about walking across Africa is not nearly as cool or impressive as actually going to Africa (even if I don't meet a lion named Aslan).
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