A Different Kind of Life

I watched Toy Story 3 yesterday. I mention this not because I wish to talk endlessly about my childhood, or give you the low down on a movie. I mention it because of the beginning. Movie starts with the audience actually see inside the imagination of Andy. And I must say I felt right at home. Sure, I'm not a kid any more. But that is just the problem, I never grew out of my imagination. Some times this is great, I can get inside a character and live (for a moment) that characters life. Or if I am writing something my imagination does (in its weird way) give me a story and characters and world for that story.

Most of the time however it is not the best thing. Why? Because instead of living my life, I am constantly thinking about a different world, different people, different rules, different me. Basically a different kind of life. I am living inside my imagination just as often as I am living in the world in which I was born, grew up, went to college, and work in. My actually deeds in 'real' life are nothing compared to the breathe and depth of my imaginary ones. No one dreams of normal average ordinary lives. No we want to be the princess, the knight, the hero, the villain, and not have to worry about the normal average things like food, money, work, or our lives.

When I was a kid I dreamed up some of the most elaborate crazy places and stories. I would want to be all the characters, making my sister stand in for the ones I did not want to play at that moment. (mostly the poor prince who my character could beat the crap out of). The tomboy in me has always been kickass. (perhaps that is the reason for all of my strong women characters in the stories I write). Funny because I'm not a feminist (I'll discuss this more some other day). In fact the 'real' me is neither kick ass or cool. I was painfully shy growing up and in a way I still am shy, at least until I get to know someone. Just this morning I was dreaming about different situations at work and how they may play out, each more elaborate then the last. Yesterday I was day dreaming about walking across the African wilderness running from some army, led by a lion I had named Aslan.

See my problem is that I can dream, right side of my brain completely in control, while awake. I even talk out loud to myself (embarrassing). My parents would yell at me when I was a kid (singing/talking in the shower to myself) or simply gave me a hard time about it. I talk out loud less often, but I don't think I'll 'grow' out of it. And that is just the problem. I need to start living my life on earth in the 'real' world. I need to stop escaping to the more exciting unreal stories I can create so easily. I don't need a different kind of life, I need to live the one I have been given. After all doing something ordinary can be rather amazing and dreaming about walking across Africa is not nearly as cool or impressive as actually going to Africa (even if I don't meet a lion named Aslan).