The Axe and Fire and Sun and Rain

(Any suggestions on title would be helpful, I'm still not sure what I want to call this!)

The Smoke of my despairing soul came billowing up
Black and grey, until the whole sky was hidden by it
Black as night, yet without stars or moon or light or hope
It was I who build the fire using new Green wood
Hacked from the forest of my heart,
like some bulldozer raging through the rain forest
My axe was sharp and still is, and I cut and break
and add more fuel, till all there is is black smoke
and grey hewn stumps of once mighty trees
standing as skeletons on the grey ash ground
Till my heart is barren and sunless and cold
and around me lays the utter ruin of Eden
and I feel I deserve the utter despair
and wondered why God had given me a sharp axe
Or even let me touch so great a glad
and smoke covers me in my languish
And I laugh coaching at the foolishness of it all
And I cry as I try to hide in the darkness.

Yet the billowing smoke did not last long
And soon the sun came bearing down
burning my unshaded head, burning right through me
til its light, unguarded or filtered, pierced me
and I felt that I would die from light
And around me the grey darkness of my soul
could not stay dark, but rather reflected the rays
til I burning as the once might forest had
and felt the burning go on and on
I was sure that I would not survive
And cry out in last breath, mercy, oh mercy
yet the suns sharp rays stayed till almost all was gone
and with its last ray glinted o'er the distant barren space
ran me through in my most secret place

And with the sun gone and the stars out
I shivered thankfully in the dark
But could not rid myself of the light
which seemed trapped within and burned still
And I wished secretly for the fire to go out
And from the south an answer came
it came in a much bigger way
and rain, poured over me, cooling my skin
and my soul, now strong as steel
yet the light still burned, now an inner warmth
and again I wished almost for it to go out
and the waves washed over the barren ash
and would have carried me off into the flood
had i not clung to the rock by my finger nails
and soon I felt I would have to let go
And yelled against the storm, Grace, oh Grace!
but the storm did not wain, rather tore at me still
Till I felt that I was raw and naked and bare
till the rain hurried off to the north and the flood waned
And the last rain drop hit me harder than a stone.

Again the sun came up in the glorious east
And now shown a heart barren but clean
The sun now felt warm and comfortable on my skin
and dried off the rain, yet soon dry the heat found me
And the sun brighter then before burned me again
And the light, oh the light bit at me, got inside
And desperately I tried to hid behind the rock.
til I wished for the darkness and no more light
but with the darkness came the storm
And worse then the night before
the rain drove into me like knives and the wind whipped
And the flood nearly drove me off and away

Again the sun and its burning piercing light
Again the storm and dark and cold
til I wondered if the circle had any end
And I hid behind the rock at day
and clung desperately to it during the storm
While around me green sprouts come up
And surprised was I when I found them here
so bright against the barren grey and black
and each day around me the sprouts grew and grew
til around me thousands of trees great then before
around me stood grand and tall
Joy oh Joy I laughed in the cool shade
Hope oh hope I shouted to the trees
and beneath them in the shade walk I
and in the middle the rock, my now realized savor
And thank God for the axe and fire and sun and rain