When I Grow Up

Here I am a quarter of the way to one hundred and I have no idea what I want to be when I 'grow up'. Ok thats not really true. The truth is that I have too many things that I want to do. I want to write plays, novels, poetry, and short stories. I want to direct and act. I want to cook all of the time (and make other people eat the food I make). I want both famous and unknown. I want to be successful and happy. I want...

Sometimes I think that Peter Pan had it made. To never grow up is a rather glorious beautiful thing. Being able to make believe and play all day long. Never having to worry about anything.

I know of people older then myself who still have now idea what they really want to do for the rest of their lives. People change carrees all the time. I guess part of the problem is not being able to, or not wanting to settle down. But for me its like I just really don't know.

Jamie Cullum, one of my favorate modern Jazz artists, has a great song called twenty something.

After years of expensive education
A car full of books and anticipation
I'm an expert on Shakespeare and that's a hell of a lot
But the world don't need scholars as much as I thought
Maybe I'll go traveling for a year
Finding myself, or start a career
Could work the poor, though I'm hungry for fame
We all seem so different but we're just the same
Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat
Aren't things more easy, with a tight six pack
Who knows the answers, who do you trust
I can't even separate love from lust
Maybe I'll move back home and pay off my loans
Working nine to five, answering phones
But don't make me live for Friday nights
Drinking eight pints and getting in fights
Maybe I'll just fall in love
That could solve it all
Philosophers say that that's enough
There surely must be more
Love ain't the answer, nor is work
The truth eludes me so much it hurts
But I'm still having fun and I guess that's the key
I'm a twentysomething and I'll keep being me

The song really captures exactly how I feel in may ways. Anyone else feeling lost for what to do with life? What do you want to be, when you grow up?