Control

It is really easy for me to see if I feel in control of my life or not. When I feel in control my room is neater, I eat better, I run more often, and I get more done. When I feel out of control my room slowly becomes a crazy mess, my eating more filled with junk, I don't run, and I get almost nothing done. I love a little bit of chaos in my life. It just makes it more interesting. And to be honest my room is and never will be spotless (I think that is part of being a creative mind, or at least that is my excuses). 

I actually hate too much control. So when I start feeling out of control, it means things are crazy. Crazy can be a good thing. 

One of the weird things about my messiness, is the it is normally contained to one area (in this case my room). My mum has her sewing room, which is always a little insane. My work area can me spotless, my living-room clean and organized, the dishes done, and my bathroom clean. But at least some part of my domain has to be insane, out of control, and crazy. The size and/or amount of crazy is totally dependent on what else is going on in my life. I'm sure that there is a more scientific or philosophic reason for this need to have craziness. I think it comes from my need to have mayhem. I like mayhem. I like having things out of control and messy. 

I'm not a controlling or A type personality. So why is it that I like something in my life to be out of my control.