Friday, April 30, 2010

The early bird

Today I started an earlier schedule at work. I was suppose to come in at 8am and leave at 5pm. Of course, smart person that I am, I did not set my alarm right, and thus woke up when I should have been leaving. Lucky for me I have a very understanding boss, and I can dress and get out of the door in like two mins. I ended up being only 10 mins late. You'll have to forgive me if this is all a little scatter brained.

And for all of you wondering about the roommate situation, I have yet to hear from the girl who came to check out the apartment on Wed. So I still have no roommate. I might have a couple of people come and check out the apartment this weekend, which, cross your figures, turns into roommates. And I'm hoping that I can find someone before I go home next weekend for my sisters graduation.

Still it is Friday and I get paid today and I get to leave work at 5:10pm and it is absolutely wonderful outside. Of course the fact that I will more then likely be staying inside tonight and writing a ton, I started a story last night, that I hope to finish tonight. I might share the beginning of it with all of you later tonight. Its one of those stories that you start in your mind when you have no pen or paper. I was standing on the Spring Garden El platform, waiting for the train and of course I had no paper with me. Lucky I was able to keep the idea active till I got home and could start writing. If I had not had work today I would have written through the night. Well weekend here we come.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Roommates

I have found that I am a little annoyed by the fact that I might soon have to share my apartment with someone else. I had a very nice girl come over and check out the apartment last night. I see that we could get along well. Yet over the last week I have grown to love being alone in the apartment. I love cooking and cleaning and decorating, and being away from people.

I think that cause of all of this is that I grew up in a small house with lots of people (six of us) and dogs, cats, and other animals. And although, thankfully I had my own room in high school, it was still inside the crazy house. Then during college I shared a room always with at least one other person (thankfully minus one, I had great roommates). And even though I have shared this apartment up to a week ago with two amazing friends, there really is nothing like your own place.

And of course what got me thinking about all of this is the fact that I find out today if the girl who came and looked at the place last night, is going to move in. I spent a ton of time yesterday cleaning and decorating and moving things around. My room is still a little haphazard, although cleaner then it was last night. The good thing about the possible new roommate is that she is also into theatre, which means the apartment stays full of artists, and she had family within a couple of blocks. Still change is hard, and since I can't pay for the whole apartment by myself, its coming no matter what.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

If I could

If I could
I would give you wings
Wings with no cage
and a voice to sing
wings that can free you
from all you pain
and like an eagle
you would fly away
leave behind your troubles
and all that hurts you
wings that can not be clipped
wings that can not tire
If I could
I would give you wings
If I could
I would give you roots
a foundation deep and strong
I would build you up
upon strength and power
roots that would protect you
from the pain of the world
roots that will save you
from the storms and wind
so you might stand tall
and look trouble in the eyes
a rock foundation
that can not be destroyed
If I could
I would give you roots
If I could
I would give you both

Hobnobs and Book Stores

My x-roommate and friend gave me The Mammoth Book of Fantasy before she left. It really is an amazing collection of short stories about all kinds of fantasy. I just finished a story about a hob in a bookstore, and it was a great feel good story (not all of the stories in the book make you feel all warm and fuzzy). And I'm not saying that I only like warm and fuzzy stories, more often I am drawn to the dark and sad.

And I have realized something about my writing. I tend to write things that are somehow connected to whatever I happen to be reading. I was reading lot of poetry for a while, thus I wrote a lot of poetry. I start reading fantasy and thus I start writing a play with sci-fi/Fantasy undertones (It might help also that I watched the National Tour of August: Osage County, which was one of the most amazing productions I have ever seen). I think it was T.S. Elliot who said that good poets barrow and great poets steal. Well perhaps that's something that can be covered by all things creative. If you can steal something and make it your own, then it probably will turn out good or great (I have always wondered what exactly T.S. stole...).

Which leads me to something else of semi importance, mainly that this week I feel rather productive. Monday I had Belly dance and did some cleaning (which is by no means done), yesterday I got to go see a show (for free because a friend got comp. tickets), and today I have a lot more cleaning to do. I have also been writing and reading a lot lately. Being productive just makes you feel so much better about yourself. Now I just need to find a roommate and start work on audition monologues. High Ho Silverware, or Onwards and upwards, or whatever...

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Dreams

Does truth ever emanate my dreams
As so oft I see in my sleep?
Does death seek me there?
Where tale and reality mix
Where so oft I travel on wings
Of sweet sleep? Where death?
Has death tasted my dreams?
Does he know where I go?
Where hence my mind has traveled
Over leagues, farther than reality.
Does truth come in these sad tales?
Which for a time I play a part
Till ruffly out of sleep I start
Or my mind in trick, changes scenes
What truth might I find there?
And When the tale I leave
does it continue, as if unscathed?
Or in leaving does the ending change?
O mind which so cruelly lets me look
At other worlds and places,
Which I will never live in, nor be a part.
Why in dream waiting on the other side
Of this thin vale I see across?
Which during sleep I cross only
In brief live a life not my own.
Do you show me truth? O mind?
Or is thy creativity unable to sleep?
And thus tortures me forever?
Does truth ever emanate my dreams?

Monday, April 26, 2010

Future

In the future... well the very near future, not this weekend, but the next I will be going home for a very short couple of days. One of which I will actually be traveling to see my sisters graduation. I'm really looking forward to this. I miss my family, def my siblings. I also miss the dog and cat. I just wish that I knew with some certainty that this weekend I was going to have a roommate move in to help pay the rent.

It seems that right now there are a lot of things to look forward too. Amazingly I was able to secure a audition slot in Philly's Annual auditions. Now I just have to try and figure out what to do for them. Seeing as I have no idea what to audition with. But I have until 6/8 to figure that all out. I wish that I was not getting nervous about this already. Hopefully I will be able to get some help from my friends, I'm sure I am going to need it.

The problem with the future, is that it is unknown. I have no idea what will happen to me. I know somethings are more then likely coming or going to happen. Yet who really knows the future? The problem is that we keep searching for knowledge that we will get soon enough if we just live and stop worrying. I could give myself a ulcer from stress. But I realized last night that that would not help the situation. So rather then trying to live in the future, or as some people do, in the past; I have decided to try for the present. We will see if anything becomes of this. And no this does not mean that I will slack off, I have several things that I know must work on.
  1. Auditions: I need monologues and people to help me with them.
  2. Find a roommate (this actually should be at the top of the list...)
  3. Finish cleaning/reorganizing my apartment (which needs to happen prior to roommate possible move in.)
  4. Stop being a bum. (meaning I need to work out more...)

No longer surviving, I must triumph over my foes!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Serpentine Dragon

They clipped the wings
Of the serpentine dragon
They took away its fire and steam
And replaced it with a plug
No one heard the screams
As they turned it into steal
As they closed its mouth
And put it on wheels
The serpentine dragon
clipped wings, wired jaw
follows the path they made
jolts and bumps and clanks

They clipped the wings
Of the serpentine dragon
So now it can no longer fly
They filled it with electric current
And replaced eyes with lights
No one now remembers
The sounds it once made
As scurrying we enter the belly
And travel on the path they made
Clipped wings, wired jaw
Steel sided, track bound
Poor serpentine dragon

Alone

Today I loose my second roommate. I had to say goodbye yesterday, because she was going to breakfast this morning and by the time I get home tonight she will most likely be gone. So until I find another roommate, I am going to be alone. Alone in my apartment, this is a very bad thing. I'm one of those people who should never be left completely alone.

Yes, I love being alone. I hate large groups of people and big parties. I tend to hang out with people I know. But when I am left completely alone, I tend to do very unproductive things. Which I am not going to let myself do this weekend. I am going to be cleaning and re-decorating the apartment and doing a lot of laundry. And I am making myself go to church on Sundays. This way I can be health.

And when I talk about unhealthy, I'm not talking about killing myself or using drugs. My unhealthy self is sleeping all day, eating junk food and watching TV. It means no being proactive, or productive. And believe me I am very good at the bum thing. I'm not even sure where it came from. My parents taught me to work hard.

I guess everyone has something that they do that is not good. Mine seems harmless in some ways, but I know it could lead to other problems...

Update on the Roommate search; I emailed with a girl yesterday who might come and see the apartment this week. We will see.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

No Seasons for the City

There are no seasons for the city
The concrete and the steel
Are always cold as winter
Somethings change, as if in season
The trees, blossoms, grow leaves
Which fall later in piles of color.
The Sky's circle Between
Steel grey and pale blue
Hot blue and dark blue
We get rain and snow and ice
But there are no seasons,
The city, oh the city
In winter it is the same as summer
The concrete and the steel
The trains snake through
The dark tunnels the same
The people, ants all
Hurry and scurry the same

In the country everything changes
When spring first melts the snow
The crocus followed by daffodils
Stand tall to forbid the frost
The earth which plows uncovered
Turns the perfect planting color
And all through out the summer
In that earth things grow and change
Till Autumn brings colors and harvest
And slowly everything dies
And with blistering cold
Winter pulls over the ground
A white deep shroud

But the concrete and steel
Of the city can not grow
Nor change through the summer
In fall there is no harvest
And in winter the shroud
Is pushed off by scurrying people
So there is no seasons in the city
Only concrete and steel.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Out of Control

You know that feeling of everything spinning slowly out of control? And there seems no end to constant pull downward? Somehow that feeling applies at the moment.

Yesterday I was suppose to meet with a potently roommate, who ended up not coming because she found a different room (might I add this is the second time that someone has set up a meeting and then not showed). And then I talked to my best friend for over an hour, just catching up (its so hard not living in the same state as your best friend). And then I watched Star Trek, First Contact.

And I feel like the characters in the movie as the ship is slowly taken over by Borg. Perhaps I should pay closer attention to what I watch just before going to bed. I could add a lot more about why everything seems to be going crazy, but there are something that do not belong on the web. And I feel that really the feeling is more of an undertow than anything else. On the surface life is continuing as usual, its all the crap you can't see that's causing all the problem.

I wonder if it is always like that. Is the problem always hiding underneath the surface? Is the world just a facade which haphazardly covers the ruin of all the problems we have? Shall we always struggle with the problem of going 'gentle into that good night', to rather 'rage, rage, against the dieing of the light'? (Yes British poetry again, can you guess who?) Or are those facades a protection, that if we let them crumble away, we would soon miss?

All in all way to many questions to ask on a Wednesday. Please God let me find a roommate!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Tuesdays are always better...

Last night, as I do every Monday, I went to Belly dance. This is at the moment my only real form of exercise, and I really do enjoy it. Of course I always end up sleeping extremely hard afterwards, and have a really hard time waking up the next morning, but its so good.

But last night I realized, while I was walking alone back to my apartment that my focus has shifted of late. Although I still like acting and still want to perform, I find my writing side as slowly started to take a higher place in my life. I'm not sure what the cause of this is. Is it because I fear the rejection that so much of theatre tends to lend towards actors? Or is it a real shift in what I want in my life? I have been thinking for a while that I might return to school and concentrate on play writing, but I don't believe that means that I will be leaving behind performance art. I love performing, I love dancing and movement and 'becoming' another person for a short period of time.

So now I ask the void, what do I really want from my life? How can I best reach whatever goals I have placed in the back of my mind? And how can I best move forward, forgetting the fear or rejection, which I know is part of the process? How do I rid my self of fear?

Oh the Brit's (Take 2)

From Dipsychus
by Arthur Hugh Clough

"There is no God," the wicked saith,
"And Truly it's a blessing,
For what he might have done with us
It's better only guessing."

"There is no God," a youngster thinks,
"Or really, if there may be,
He surely didn't mean a man
Always to be a baby."

"There is no God, or it there is,"
The tradesman thinks, "'twere funny
If he should take it ill in me
To make a little Money."

"Whether there be," the rich man says,
"It matters very little,
For I and mine, thank somebody,
Are not in want of victual."

Some others, also, to themselves
Who scarce so much as doubt it,
Think there is none, when they are well,
And do not think about it.

But country folks who live beneath
The shadows of the steeple;
The parson and the parson's wife,
And mostly married people;

Youths green and happy in first love,
So thankful for illusion;
And men caught out in what the world
Calls guilt, in first confusion;

And almost every one when age,
Disease, or sorrows strike him,
Inclines to think there is a God,
Or something very like Him.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Sudoku

It is definably, quantifiable a Monday. I really have no idea what I am going to write about today. I feel like there is still a lot of bleed over in my brain from the week before, and I am sure that weekends continue to get shorter not longer. Which I might add is very sad.

This past weekend consisted of helping a roommate move out, writing/reading a lot of poetry, and going to church (I also watched some TV shows on Hulu). All in all nothing amazing happened. I do have several people interested in the room, which is great, hopefully I find someone this week, that is a definite. I hate this cliff-hanger waiting period (its like in the second Pirates, when you know, you know that a cannibal is going to jump out of no where and scare everyone, your just not sure where he is...).

I guess that I could talk about Church. I went to St. Mary's Church a Episcopal Church on U-Penn's campus. It is definably 'high church', which I do not necessarily have a problem with, its just been a while since I have gone to that kind of service. The Building itself is beautiful (which has nothing to do with the service). The Sermon was good, I was not sure what to expect, although the service itself was long. I don't want this to be taken the wrong way, I think it is person preference, but I find it hard to truly worship G-d, when the ritual of it all is so much more interesting (I'm sure others who are more used to the tradition have no problem, but the theatre major in my always takes over...).

So besides the random wanderings of my Monday tired mind, I would like to point out three things.
  1. I have not auditioned for anything in a long time.
  2. I need to audition for things and stop being a bum.
  3. I really want the roommate thing to get figured out...

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Paying Bills

I believe that there is a very large part of me that is in denial about being a grown up. Almost every Saturday I sit down on my bed with my lap top (to use as a calculator), my check book, and a pile of bills. I figure out what has to get paid, how much money I have, and try and determine how much I need to keep aside so I can pay rent.

So far everything is under control except for my credit card. In the two and half to three months in which I was jobless, my credit card was my only life line. This means that I am still trying to pay off the debt that I created in those few months. And of course that speaks nothing to the amount I created during college.

I reality to be doing well I should be making a lot more then $8.25 an hour. And I'm still hopeful that my work will buy out my contract from the Temp org and start paying me more money. But seeing as that discussion was held almost a month ago, who knows when that will happen. I made $11 at my old job (and I should say that I have started kind of looking for something else, I need more money).

And I hate all of this. I hate having to pay bills, and figure out budgets. I hate trying to find roommates. I hate having roommates, you have gotten to know really well and become good friends with, move out. And I really hate laundry, which I have to do this weekend...

Perhaps there will always be a part of me that wants to have my mom figure out all this stuff for me. But than again, my mother always made me keep track of my own money, even before I had a job. So the real problem might be that I simply hate worrying about money and other 'grownup' stuff.

Furthermore, I feel that I must share, that besides laundry (which is the bane of my existence), I am decent at figuring out and keeping to a budget and I am quickly learning how to organize and pay my bills. So perhaps it will all figure itself out in the end. And everyone has a chore that they hate, cough laundry cough. My mum has shared that she hates dishes, which is why my parents have a dishwasher and made us kids do the dishes all the time...

Today I am sad that I have lost a roommate and I'm interested to see who the new roommate/friend is that might be heading my way...

Friday, April 16, 2010

Well Goodness...

I spent all this time yesterday cleaning the apartment and waiting for the prospective... And She never showed.

So I feel that sadly I am back to the mere survival aspect of my life. Sure I can re-post the craigslist ad, which I will be doing. But what else can I do? I feel that I am back to waiting for fate to decide whether or not anyone listens to my cry of help which has become a part of the ever expanding void in which the ethos exists, a part of the expanding separation between people.

Take Facebook, which I check everyday (sometimes several times a day). This is suppose to be a net work for friends, for connections. And in some cases (sad as this might sound) it is my only connection to some of my friends. But Facebook is also a way in which we keep our distance. Its like that friend or a friend type this. Its someone you know... you smile at them and wave when you see them. Who knows you might even make random small talk, but you don't really know them. Facebook makes all of your friends like that... if you don't make a effort to make your friends more then someone you stalk every couple of days to see what they are up too.

To return to where I started. So far no roommate. And I guess that means I need to be more proactive about finding one. But how is one more proactive about such things??

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Roommate Hunting 101

Basic Steps to Finding a Roommate

  1. Write a smashing (really good) Craigslist ad.
    a) You might want to take a look at the kind of things that other people write in such ads.
    b) Make sure you have no spelling mistakes (Which I'm sad to say I failed at this part).
  2. Clean the apartment so that the future roommate does not see you as a slob, also warn current roommates that there is someone coming to look at the place.
    a) Take into account that the current roommates will probably not clean...
  3. Start brain storming questions to asks/things to talk about.
    a) Like where are you from? Where do you work? and so on.
    b) Make sure to point out all the good points of the apartment/room. (closeness to septa, space, and so on.)
  4. nervously wait for prospective roommate to show up.

    Notes:
    Yes, lucky for me I have someone coming to look at the apartment today. Which is very exciting and a little scary. I'm hoping everything works out because I really want to stop worrying about all of this. Wish me luck, def since I still have some cleaning to do... Hopefully I am setting up myself to be more then just a survivor.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Oh the Brits

For those of you who do not know me well, I must tell you that I am slightly (OK more then slightly) obsessed with the Brits (although I like the Irish more). I watch Doctor Who, BBC news is my homepage, and I've been calling my mother mum for years. With all this said it should come as no surprise that I am reading British poetry (something I think I've mentioned before). And I thought that I would share one of my favorites with all of you.

John Donne
Batter My Heart Three-Person'd God

Batter my heart, three-person'd God; for, you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, 'and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end,
Reason your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captiv'd, and proves weak or untrue,
Yet dearly'I love you, 'and would be loved fain,
But am betroth's unto your enemy,
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I
Except you'enthral me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Mashed Potatoes

Mashed potatoes are really weird when reheated. Yes I'm having mashed potatoes for lunch. I'm also having venison and a pear. I know that you all desperately want to know what I am eating (I'm being sarcastic, honest). However I thought I would share, since I seem to be writing the most during my lunch.

I had a couple of things that I wanted to share today (Besides the weirdness of my lunch).

(1)Belly Dance last night kicked my butt (Yes I'm taking belly dance, you can all laugh now).
(2)That I love The Columbia Anthology of British Poetry.
(3)That going to Center City to cash a check during my 1 hour lunch break, while possible, is rather time consuming and is taking away from my real enjoyment of my lunch food (which is the reason this is so short today).

Later I might share some of my favorite poems by the Brits.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Work, Work, Work

The most glorious thing about my job is that I get an hour lunch break. (Yes, I am being a good girl and writing this during my break...)

I guess first I need to tell you all that I posted an ad to craigslist in the hopes of finding a roommate. There is something terrifying and slightly freeing about sending thoughts, hopes, needs off into the ethos (ie the Internet). I feel as though I am just a thought out here, not a real person with real hopes and dreams. Rather I am just a brain being played with by either a very nasty two year old or a evil genius. Its the whole what is real deal, amazingly I have not seen The Matrix in a while (maybe that's the problem).

Perhaps what made me think of all of this is the fact that none of you, who ever reads this, actually knows me (OK friends do not count in this instance, although I could argue that sometimes my friends don't get me either). To all of you, I could be some fat, old guy with a bad sense of humor. Or I could be who I say I am.

So I'm writing all of this just to say that I posted something to craigslist, something that I have never done before. And it makes me extremely nervous to think who might answer my ad. And I'm praying that its someone good. What was it that I wrote before about not just surviving? Well I have to admit right now I feel like I am just surviving, or at least existing. Can that be enough for today?

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Lazy Sunday

I hate being sick. And of course being sick means that I feel like doing absolutely nothing. This weekend has been one big lazy nap time, during which I have done a lot of blowing of my nose and coughing up a storm.

The problem is that I think I spend too many of my weekends being very unproductive. Yes in part it is the fact that I'm tired after a week of work. But mostly I think it is the procrastinator rising up inside of me. Its like the design at shirt.woot (a site I spend too much time visiting everyday), I need some motivation.

So the goal for the next month is to do more then just be. To just survive. To paraphrase my roommates father, don't just survive, or endure, be more proactive then that, you must prevail.

Which according to Dictionary.com means to succeed, win out. That's the goal, to be more proactive, more involved, more engaged... Of course the only problem is that right now, I can't even breath through my nose (I must prevail over my cold first, perhaps).

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Hot

So its hot. Here we are in April and it is hot. Not warm, Hot and a little humid. Feels like summer, like late July or August, not April. Perhaps its just being in the city. Or maybe the weather just wants to play on the extremes this year. We had a ton of snow for winter, breaking tons of records, and now a really hot summer. Who knows. Last summer was so cool up at my parents house and the summer before was also cold and wet.

I know that they keep telling us about global warming, but I have to wonder if it is for real. I agree that we humans need to take better care of our resources and the world in which we live. But is the earth really warming, more then it should? There is a cycle of heat vs. cold. Back in the 80's we were cold, then we were hot, and it seems that we are going back towards cold now. Not that I understand everything about the science of weather.

And I'm writing all of this to say...?

Well to complain a little about it being hot (which obviously got me off somewhere else). I guess in reality I am writing all this because I scared. At the end of the week I will lose one roommate and in a couple of more weeks the other one. Then I will have a whole summer of living with someone I have yet to meet. And that is of course if everything goes well. Is this all becoming to redundant? I do apologies. I guess it was the heat of summer that made me think of all of this...

(Stay tune for some more of my writing...)

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Back in the City

The epic story of the apartment wars continues...

OK its not really a war, nor is it very epic, not in the Star wars/Lord of the Rings way. Rather it is a problem of making my own mind up. Do I risk subleasing the whole apartment to someone else, and perhaps get screwed or do I stay in the apartment and only sublease one of the rooms? I'm really conflicted. I'm nervous because I don't want to hand over the apartment to someone I don't know. Yet finding a roommate might be just as interesting.

I think this is another moment in which I wish that I was not an grownup. The child inside of me is screaming 'Mum!'. I can of course talk to my parents about all of this... But in the end it is my decision. I'm the one. Its all down to me. Scary.

Of course, unlike my roommates I don't hate where the apartment is. Sure you have to be careful, its a city. And like all cities it has its problems, trash on the streets, violent people, and super late public transit. Yet there is something very wonderful in that mess.

Yesterday I rode the #10 trolley home. It was so packed that I was standing on the steps and every time the doors opened I was squished and required to get off, so other people could. Even so, I was able to share a lot of jokes about Septa as well as talk to people, who if it had not been so squished would never talk to me. And luckily I had not had to wait as long as some people. On the whole I feel that I keep on having wonderful experiences here. True it is near impossible to make me a negative person, I'm too joyful for all that. And maybe I am just making the best of the situation, but somehow I feel like it all fits here.

I love the country and I miss my family and lakes and trees and camping and good dirt. However, I feel like I am, at this point in my life, meant to be here. Even if I have to deal with the epic of apartments, leases, late subways, and new roommates. Oh wait, that's life.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Getting Out

This weekend has been... Well I'm not really sure how to explain in any simple terms. I mean I could just say that I'm currently at my roommate's parent's house in Western Maryland, but that does not really cover the weekend. First of all you must understand that this house is currently housing her parents, their three dogs (two of which are Bernese Mountain Dogs), and cat plus, Her older brother and wife (who is pregnant), four kids, their dog and cat and a whole lot of crazy. To add to all of this, I'm having one of the worst allergy attacks ever... complete with losing my voice. (My voice, when I can speak, is several octaves lower then normal.)

Yet despite the crazy insanity of it all, this weekend has been one of the most peaceful wonderful weekends I have had in a very long time. Strange. It helps that we are probably in one of the most beautiful places, with trees and a great lake. And the weather has been wonderful. Warm for a Easter weekend. And I have been rather unproductive in almost everything.

So tomorrow I return to the city with bright lights at night, so you can't see the stars and trafic and Septa and no clean bright water. I always forget that in reality I am a country girl deep down in my soul. I might like the city, but for long term I really want space and a sky that I can see the stars.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Philly

Yet another poem, although very different from the first.

Philly

The city lights bounce off.
The clouds in pinks and purples
and only the sky behind is black
although hazy with no stars
trees, gnarled with vines and
plastic bags, stretch their
claw like branches upward
true black against the
outline of row house and
yellow street lamps.
against the purple pink sky
shining bright as a rainy day
brighter then night should be
but still darker then day
curtains hide the night
the light of man produced stars
which pollute the night air
with false hope and false light
the city is somehow still
awake although so many sleep
the clock reads one twenty three
and the seconds click by in time
with the polices sirens screaming
echoing through the rows
of brick houses. some empty
others filled with late night talkers
others dark as true night
filled with sleepers, dreamers
the city lights play in the sky clouds
dance in rainbow colors
Hide the first hints of dawn
play down the glorious color of
sunrising morn. True light
finally hits these harsh bricks
Shows the truth of the crumbling
rows of three story houses
that line the streets
like dancers held too closely together
like many sets of twins
The same as two bricks
The false light disappears
Empty street lights reflect
true light of sun in plain white
windows mirror the light
the day is brilliant
the city is dirty, like the windows
unwashed for many years
grimy yet efficient
trolley bells mix with traffic
and cops blue lights and sirens
continue as if the echos
of the night before had never
died away. And perhaps
like the street lights, which
will find their purpose
again tonight. Casting shadows
hiding the stars
hiding true night.

April Fools

I get to work this morning and find out that in a rush of genius Google has changed its name to Topeka. (I love Google, I mean Topeka)

Of course this got me wondering. What if we all just decided to change our names. I could become Audrey (oh wait that's my sisters name, can't do that...) Or perhaps I could change it to Mary or something... I don't think I know any Mary's... Perhaps I'll just Topeka it.

All joking aside, today has be rather crazy. Besides my favorite search engine changing its name. I forgot to renew my Septa pass, and so had to pay two dollars to ride the El. At least I had two dollars in my purse. And I am recording a IVR message for work today, with a sore throat. And at some point I have to call my landlord about subleasing... a conversation I'm not looking forward to...

And don't get me wrong, there are some great things going right today. Like its gorgeous outside and sunny and warm. And I get to leave work early to go away for Easter. First real vacation in a long time. I went last night to check out an apartment in fish town, and if I get to move I want to go there. The apartment is great and the future roommate would be great and I love her cats.

So over all its a great start to April. And I seriously wish that I had something to April Fools about...